Identity

Full transcript · two voices

We’re talking about it’s never too late to recreate. We’re going to take you a little bit on this journey that we’ve had in 2025 and why.

The Commitment To “Trim & Grow”

That saying, “It’s never too late to recreate,” in both of our personal lives, we’ve had different careers. We’ve had different chapters in our life. It was something in 2025 that we sat down. We’re in a new phase in our life. We’re parents. We are more focused on where we want to go. We made a commitment to ourselves that we’re going to take the year and we’re going to go inside. We’re going to figure out who we are, what we want, and what matters most to us.

We’re going to do nothing but grow and also trim. One of the most important things about growing is trimming. We dedicated a year to ourselves. We outlined all of the things that were non-negotiables for us and dove in head first. It’s been such a cool process. Do you want to walk them through the things that we laid out for ourselves on a daily basis?

Finding The “Why” & Living The Truth

I’ll go why. I had done multiple careers. I had played basketball. I’ve been a teacher, a coach, a principal and a business owner. All of these things. I’ve been able to have a lot of success in different industries monetarily. I realized that none of it was fulfilling to me. It was pivotal because my children being toddler age, I thought about like, “What am I doing here? Who am I? What am I going to leave? Where are we going with this?”

I remember not having direction as a little boy. I didn’t want to do that to my children because they didn’t ask to be here. They were created and they would need my guidance and love. First, I need to be able to guide myself as the man. The why was so important. I wanted to live my truth. Previously, most people, you’re trying to figure out. It’s trial and error. You’re running around. You’re dating aimlessly. Living my truth was one of the most important things. It didn’t just start in 2025. It started before. I knew the man that I eventually wanted to be. It took me this fucking long.

I don’t think that you would have even decided to or known that it was a journey that you wanted to take had you not been doing your own self-discovery or self-journey prior to that. As a lawyer, I’m here preaching to my clients every day. Where you come from, what’s happened to you is not going to define your future. It was also important to me to live what you preach. I’ve been a lawyer for fifteen years. I’m not just a lawyer. That’s not what I want my life to find on. That’s not who I am. That goes to being able to ask yourself, “Who are you?” If you can’t answer that, then you have a lot of work to do.

What was your what? What did you do?

Non-Negotiable Daily Disciplines

We set up a routine, non-negotiables. We wake up every morning before the sun. We read, write, and we work out. It is time just for ourselves. There was a quote that I read. It said, “The mornings are for yourself. The rest of the world gets the leftovers.” I think that that’s what we started to live by and that is one of the most accurate statements.

The world doesn’t get your most critical brain functioning when you’re most alert, when you’re creative and then you get scraps for yourself. It needs to be the exact opposite if you’re serious about your life. We set that time up. I tell you what, taking time for yourself will change your whole life. It did. The books that we’re reading are phenomenal and I’m not talking about a romance novel or some light read.

The Courage to Be Disliked, Stoicism books, Ralph Emerson and ll of these different books are pushing. I can’t tell you how many times you and I have had to google words to figure out. You are in this constant state of learning. If you’re going to figure out who you are, you have to learn. You have to be willing to learn. You have to be willing to be vulnerable like, “I don’t know what this word means. I don’t even know how to pronounce it.” Those were three that are jumping out at me. What are some others that we’ve put in place?

Radical Accountability & Environment

I thought accountability was something that I had to change. I realized that every single success or failure had to do with what I was doing or what I was putting into it. It was hard because I had to live my truth. Basically, I had to come and have these conversations with myself, even looking at relationships that I’ve been in. Why did they fail? I took accountability. I realized that everything stemmed from what I did wrong.

Associations was a huge thing. If I wanted to be a man of character, I had to start looking at the people around me that didn’t have character. I could still love them but what took precedence was the values and my integrity and where I wanted to go. I started realizing, “If you did this, you did all of this unmindfully and you gained all of this success. You didn’t love yourself in the process.”

I wanted to change that for my children and for myself personally. I have to love everything that I’m doing. That was one of the big changes that I made personally. I started looking at things like different careers and different things. I’m like, “If I don’t love it, I’m not doing it. My heart is not 100% into it. I don’t want to do it. If I’m not feeling a conversation, I’m not going to have it.”

I cut all of that shit out because all of that falls under the idea of being nice and kind. The only people that are nice and kind are the people that don’t know where the fuck they’re going. I say that to say you speak differently. You’re not going to be rude to yourself if you value yourself. You’re not going to treat anyone else under that value that you have for yourself. That was just huge for me to do the accountability.

What I heard from what you’re saying is environment. It’s the environment inside and then it’s the environment around. When you change the environment inside and you realize, “These are my values and they’re non-negotiable. This is my character and it’s non-negotiable.” You look outside and you say, “I automatically have to do this trim because you don’t align with my values. It doesn’t align with my character and then trim.”

You go back to then I have to value my time and say, “If it’s not done out of love or passion, it’s not for me.” There’s a saying, “If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a hell no.” You have to stand true to that. There is no wavering when you are centered. When you know where you’re going and you know what you want, it’s a non-negotiable.

Most of us don’t know those things because we haven’t given the time to ourselves to know those things. I couldn’t value myself. I did not value myself. That’s why back in the day, I could see six or seven women. Now, I don’t even have that many people that I would even speak to in a close proximity. That’s because you raise the bar. You start understanding yourself.

Writing the book that’s going to come out soon also changed my life. That took me back and identified the struggles of my whole entire lineage. I was forced to look at this as like, “Since I’m the Maynard now, it’s on me. I have to make these changes. Who else is going to do this?” Speaking of changes, go into the changes that you made that were the most difficult and the ones that were easy.

The Internal Environment & Longevity

I was going to say, the last aspect we talked a lot about was environment. We talked a lot about personal growth because everything is what you consume. You’re reading, consumption, who’s around you. You are consuming your environment. Your environment is what you’re growing in. The third, and we can’t leave it out because it’s one of the most important changes that we made, was our diet, fasting, inducing, vitamins, and mineralizing.

Every room in our home has self-care from a PEMF mat to a grounding sheet to foot massagers, head massagers, and red-light therapy. All of that is for longevity and health. We fast a minimum of twelve hours a day. We don’t eat cold cuts anymore. If it’s not salmon from Alaska, would we fly in? We don’t eat it. We eat out twice a month. It’s all home-cooked meals because we know where it’s from. We know what we’re consuming. We’re consuming intentionally instead of mindless eating.

The Power Of Presence & Masculinity

The root of that all goes to purpose. The changes are made purposefully to where you’re going with this. One of the biggest changes I made was being present at all times. I miss so much not being present. That presence has regulated the household from yourself, the children. Everything. When we talk about masculinity in men, our presence is the essence of that.

That’s something that’s often missed. We’re looking for “What do you do? How much do you make? What kind of car do you drive?” None of that shit matters. How do you feel when you’re in someone’s presence? When I’m in Charlie’s presence, I feel loved. That’s what’s important. It doesn’t matter if he drives a red truck or a gold truck. That doesn’t have a bearing on me. I feel loved and appreciated. That’s also reciprocated.

If you didn’t know to reciprocate that, you would feel that from him and immediately give that back. That’s the beauty of us as human beings. We could set the tone for our relationships. It’s so important. Being present did a lot for me because I could see the effects on the people. Everyone around me can benefit from that. What better benefit than that as a human being?

That’s part of the journey. Your question before I diverted was, what was the hardest change for me personally. If you’re going to take this personal journey and you’re going to say, “I want to grow into the person that I know I’m supposed to be.” You got to figure out who the fuck you’re supposed to be and who you want to be.

That takes a lot of honest and brutal questions with yourself. If you cannot be honest and you cannot ask the tough questions to yourself, you’re wasting your time. There’s no growth. Our whole lives, we’re trained to say, “Who does mom and dad want me to be? Who does society want me to be? Who do my kids need me to be? Who does my partner need to be?”

No one’s ever just sitting by themselves and saying, “Who am I? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go?” The partner that you’re with might not be the partner when you do this self-journey. You’re like, “This one’s not coming with me.” That might be their choice. It might be your choice. I hear you say it all the time. Even when you figure out who the fuck you are and where you want to go, your people find you. Your environment finds you.

Solitude Vs. The “Mask” (Persona)

I want to say something to that. A lot of us have found the wrong environment because we’ve put on the mask. You’re wearing the mask. You’re going to attract people that are attracted to that mask. That doesn’t mean that you’re attracted to your own soul. What else are we but the light of our fucking souls? You could chase a lot of things or you could become what you’re supposed to be. The only way to do that is through solitude. It’s so important. I noticed that because the people that used to be around couldn’t even afford to be around. Your time, your presence becomes expensive. That’s because you value that. You’re not doing that for anyone else but yourself.

You say it all the time. It’s not sexy. We joke all the time like, “This boring, simple life.” That’s how you know you’re living a phenomenal life. You’re never going to see us at the club. You’re never going to see us at sporting events. You’re not going to see us at all of these busy, crowded, everybody goes. We’re not taking the same trips as you.

That’s no slight. Everyone should be doing exactly what they want to do. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to be a part of it. I’ve never seen a fucking lion hanging out with hyenas for fun. It just doesn’t make sense.

The eagle is not going to call a chicken up and ask him to go to brunch.

I’ve tried to play both sides. I think that’s where I went wrong previously in my life. That’s where the unhappiness comes.

It’s because you’re unhappy with yourself. You’re lying to yourself.

Here’s the thing. I’m wearing your mask. I’m like, “I can never be you. Why the fuck am I wearing your mask? I’m just going to be me.” If it’s a nuisance to you, cool. You won’t come around. I think that’s so important. You think a skunk will put on cologne to just walk through the pasture? No.

To make sure that people aren’t mad? No. That’s how he keeps people the fuck away from him.

Be a fucking skunk so that you could find another skunk to be with. It just makes sense.

He makes sure everybody stays away. The people who are his people don’t care about the smell. That also goes back to the cutting phase. You have to trim to grow. It goes back for everything. You see a forest get burned down, the forest goes back even thicker. It grows back even more luscious. It’s just part of the rebirth. That was the most challenging for me.

I would say the most rewarding was I’m at peace. I feel more confident. I know who I am. When I step out, I don’t have to worry about what room am I stepping into? What audience is going to be before me? I’m just Shannon. I’m Shannon here. I’m Shannon there. I’m me. I’ve just felt this overall peace inside of me. I see it affect every single person.

I don’t talk to very many people. The people I do, I see them recognize it. I see the relationships that I do have benefiting from it immensely. I’m a better partner. I’m a better parent. I’m a better lawyer. I’m just better overall because I’m centered. It’s a phenomenal place to be and thing to be because most people aren’t.

You used the word persona. The Latin word of a persona is mask. Everyone is putting on a persona. They’re putting on a mask, depending on where they’re going. Depending on what they’re doing and who they’re speaking to. How can you keep up with that? You have to drag a trunk full of masks behind you to be able to switch out in a moment’s notice because you’re worried about everybody else. Be you. I’m telling you it will change your whole life. It’s a lot easier said than done. This process has been a year.

Authenticity & “Forever Becoming”

I can help you with that. They don’t like you anyway. You’ll figure that out now or later, whether they’re on your payroll or not or they’re related to you. Just be the skunk. At the end of the day, you’re going to attract the skunks. You’re going to be very fulfilled with who you are. It’s just so important.

What was your hardest change that you made in 2025?

The hardest part was the commitment to myself and the truth. Telling myself the harsh truth. I’m very rough with myself. I think that was the hardest part. When I understood the value of who the man that I wanted to put together and who I wanted to be was very easy. The steps were very easy. We don’t descend to talk or to conversate. A lot of people do that. You go down to conversate. You should conversate up. Everything you do should be on an upward movement.

Studying nature helped me a lot too. I got into nature. I got into my writing. I got into my body. I couldn’t believe that I spent all these years chasing money, women and dumb shit, and didn’t even understand how my body worked. I didn’t understand fasting. I didn’t understand the organs in my body. I didn’t understand a lot of things that were so functional like how to breathe. That’s functional biologically to human beings.

What the fuck are we doing as human beings? You have this checklist that’s not even biological. No wonder they’re going to feed you fucking meat that’s made from the fucking sewer. Nothing we’re doing is functional to us as beings. I have not heard people even talking about that. It bothers me.Every time I’m on the internet, I flip through, “Show you how to make your next $10,000.”

Fuck, I just want to love myself. That’s cool because I’m just going to be miserable. I’m going to crash the fuck out and spend it at the fucking strip club or something. This over and over again. I’m chasing my next $10,000. Won’t you talk to me about how you got yourself centered? Whatever we add onto that, it’s just all bonuses.

That’s why environment is so key. You talk about how you didn’t value yourself. You didn’t see it. I’ve known you for years and I always saw it. I always saw the Hugo that was inside. I always saw the light, if you will. Even when you didn’t value yourself, I knew your value from day one. Your environment will either keep you small because they know that that light will outshine them and then you’ll move on or they will speak life into that light every day until it’s as bright as it can fucking possibly be.

Your environment is everything. If you take a fish out of water, the fish dies. You cannot be somewhere that you are not literally being watered, nurtured, and spoken great to. They even show water. If you speak negative to the water, the crystals crystallize differently than if you speak loving and positive to it. It forms beautiful crystallized masterpieces, if you will. It’s the same way with us.

If your environment is not somebody who sees it, even when you don’t. On days, that goes into the accountability. There are some days I do not want to go downstairs and work out. I am tired. It’s like, “Let’s go.” Some days you haven’t read yet. I’m like, “I’m sorry. Have you done your reading?” You go to an environment that doesn’t let you not be the greatest that you could be every single day. All we have is now. Tomorrow might not be guaranteed and we’re not reliving yesterday. We have now. I’m damn sure to make sure that you are everything that you could be.

I feel the same way. I could see the difference in you as I got more centered in different ways like confidence. Another thing, too. Everything that I talk about at home is about you benefiting from yourself. Not like we have some union that I’m hoping that lasts forever. I’m never been that type of guy. This time around, I was very adamant about that.

If I talk to you about something, it has to do with you. It has nothing to do with me or how I feel or what I want you to change for me. That’s unrealistic. We need each other to be their best selves for themselves. That’s how we get to this euphoric happiness that we’re all trying to get to. A lot of people like couples and just friends, family, everything benefits them. They only fuck with people when it benefits them.

Speak life into people based on their goals, what they’re trying to do, and what they love. As the mother of my daughter and as a human, it’s important for me to tell the truth. I fell short on that previously in life because again, you’re trying to be nice or kind. There’s oftentimes I say shit that hurts your feelings but if it’s the truth, it’s the truth.

It’s part of growth. If we don’t do the hard things, when you work out, your muscles hurt like hell. It’s because you’re growing. I do shit that I shouldn’t do. You hold me accountable. Even if it stings to hear it, I’m going to be better because of it. This transformation for you, as you said, you regulate the house. Outside of the birth of our daughter, it’s probably the most amazing rebirth I’ve ever seen. You became a whole different person. That wasn’t just for you. I see how you are with the children. I see how you are with me. I see how it regulates the household. The house is a different home than it was before. It’s been an unbelievable process.

In the very beginning, you talked about presence. A few years ago, you’d be sitting in the room on your phone. You might physically be there but you weren’t there. It showed in everything that you did. It showed how you showed up. It showed everything. It showed in your writing. Being able to see, that is another thing. You go around people. I’ve loved your writing since the day I met you. I’ve told you that is something you have to focus on.

When you became more confident and when you valued your time, you poured yourself into it. You weren’t running in twelve directions. You were able to sit down, sit still, and focus on your purpose. Now you have all of these writings coming out. You have movies in the making. You have all of these things because you were able to sit down and be you. Not, “This person needs me to be this, I’m over here. Where am I going tomorrow?” You got to sit down. You’re the man that you’ve always talked about being.

Forever becoming.

I was going to bring that up. I met him and he would say the same, “Forever becoming.” I was like, “What do you mean?” “We are every day.” I’m still trying to better myself from yesterday. If I’m lucky enough to have tomorrow, I’m going to better myself then but we have today. Doing everything we can. That’s why I think that this journey has been so amazing. It’s been a great process.

Pain As A Signal For Rebirth

To anyone out there, you’re going to fuck things up a million times. If you don’t have great parents, and even with that, in a great environment, you are still going to make mistakes. You have to have the courage to recreate yourself at any time. I’ll leave you guys with this. Pain is a signal to us that something is not right. If we break our arm, we feel pain.

There’s an emotional and a physiological pain that follows us as humans. We know it. We could put the biggest smile on. We could get the nicest car and the biggest house. We know that pain. Oftentimes, if you’re present, you could feel people’s energy. That pain that we have, that uncertainty, that unsureness of ourself means that something is not connected. Don’t be afraid to dive into what that something is. All we are is our energy and our soul. That’s our light.

You’re never going to find out what that pain is. If you go to a therapist and ask “What’s wrong with me?” You just have a stranger telling you, “Maybe you’re not sitting up straight enough. It sounds like Tim is mean to you every now and then.” The only way you’re going to discover what that pain is and how you can change it. You said we might not have the best environments. When we first started talking, we talked about the environment. That the most important is inside. Until you take that journey inside and you change the environment, you can’t figure out what’s wrong in there.

The pain is only inside. I can’t ask you what hurts. Something doesn’t feel right. What do you think it is? You can’t tell me what’s wrong inside. That’s what I was talking about. The hardest for me was to have those brutal one-on-one alone conversations with myself of, “What am I struggling with? What am I hiding? What am I overlooking? What am I overcompensating for?” That’s where the pain is. I can unpack it. I can make the changes. Until you trim, you cannot grow.

Take the mask off. Have the courage to take the mask off. You are beautiful the way you are. This is Hugo and Red of Shit My Daddy Didn’t Teach Me. Thank you guys for tuning in. Have a great day.